Welcome to Congregation Rodeph Sholom in New York City
Mark a Yahrzeit at Home
What is a Yahrzeit?
At Congregation Rodeph Sholom, we have the custom of placing a stone on slate when we mark the yahrzeit, the anniversary of a loved one’s death, in the synagogue on Shabbat or during Yizkor. This ritual recollects the tradition of placing small stones on a headstone as an act of memorial and tribute when we visit a gravesite in the cemetery.
As we increasingly observe the different stages of mourning—shivah, sheloshim, and shanah—as well as loved ones’ yahrzeits at home, this new ritual offers another way to physically mark memory. You may wish to use this ritual, or parts of it, when your loved one’s name is read for Mourner’s Kaddish during services, or whenever else you choose to remember them.
Midday Minyan
Zoom Only
12:00 PM • Sunday through Friday
Join us in virtual community for a lay-lead service offering comfort and connection for all. This service will offer a daily time to grieve a loss, honor a Yahrzeit, and recite the Mourners Kaddish in community.
Register for link ›
Resources for Reflection
Yahrzeit Light Prayer
Yahrzeit Light Prayer
By Barbara Rothstein
Why a light for a yahrzeit
The yahrzeit light shines with the light of their souls
The yahrzeit light glows with the love they shared with us during their lives
The yahrzeit light dances with the laughter they brought out in us
The yahrzeit light allows us to look back and remember the best of times we shared with them
The yahrzeit light reminds us that although the dawn comes up without them, they want us to go on and carry out our shared goals
They brought light into our lives and the yarzeit light reminds us that they are counting on us to leave a shared legacy to make this a better world
We must take this external light and rekindle the light in our souls
In doing so they live with us as long as we live
Through us may their light glow on
Love Song to the House of Mourning
Love Song to the House of Mourning
By Jessica Kirzane
Love song to the woman who sits
alone in her house mourning her mother.
Her voice echoes off hardwood floors.
She pours a cup of tea
and lifts it, steaming, to her lips.
Love song to the steam that tingles
against her weathered cheeks.
Alone in her house mourning her mother –
she yearns to chide old dear friends
for bending over to sweep up crumbs.
Love song to the old dear friends
who filled her home when her husband died –
the buzz of their voices mingled with her laughter and sobs.
Alone in her house mourning her mother
she aches for the smell of their coffee.
Love song to the coffee percolating in the dining room
to the cakes and bagels piled on trays
to the leftovers she apportioned into Tupperware
to the pile of coats on the bed, which now is bare and she –
alone in the house mourning her mother.
Alone in the house mourning her mother
she cooks her own dinner and eats it,
washes the dishes, and puts them away.
She cradles the cup of tea in her hands –
Love song to the hands longing to be held.
Eternal Rest, Eternal Peace
Eternal Rest, Eternal Peace
By Suzanne Sabransky
When the time has come,
When we leave this physical plane,
We do not depart into blackness,
We do not disappear into nothingness.
We transition from here to there,
From life among the breathing
To a place of profound security,
Safe at the right hand of Our Creator
No longer do we dance the dance of frailty.
No longer are we confined by the limits of body.
At last we are free to allow our souls to take wing,
At last we can know the splendors of the Shechinah.
We grieve at this time, we feel heartache and loss,
Yet the departure of our loved ones is freedom for them.
The ones we love, now know the blessings of Adonai,
And they are bathed in the brilliance of G-d’s mercy.
With heart and mind, memories are sustained,
As they are forever bound to those who remember them.
The wings of Sukkat Shalom embrace them in love,
And they are granted peace and joy for all eternity.
May the One who heals, heal us all.
May those who suffered find sanctuary.
May The Giver of Life comfort us in mourning,
And may we find we are better for having known them.
Amen
The Journey Through Grief
The Journey Through Grief
By Deborah Greene
The journey through grief
So vast, dark, and uncertain
Where is my compass
God, are you with me
I search, eyes closed, heart open
Oh Source of comfort
I cry out in tears
A primal ache in my soul
Help me to find you
Prayer is hard for me
How do I speak to you God
Tears flow down my cheeks
They carry in them
All the words I cannot say
Hear them God, hear them…
I ask, Ayekah?
In the still quiet moments
The wind whispers back
I listen closely
Hineni, the wind calls out
Here I am, with you
The journey is long
The gentle breeze carries me
Forward with God’s grace
Yahrzeit at CRS
Please connect with us for information about marking a yahrzeit at CRS.
yahrzeit@crsnyc.org
(212) 362-8800
Ritual of Memorial
Before you begin, gather a yahrzeit candle and one button for each person you are remembering and for each person participating in the ritual. Alternatively, you can use another object that reminds you of the person you are remembering.
Begin by lighting the yahrzeit candle. Then, read the following meditation silently or aloud:
נֵר יְהוָה נִשְׁמַת אָדָם
Ner Adonai nishmat adam (Proverbs 20:27)
The human soul is the lamp of the Eternal God.
(I/we) light this candle in memory of (my/our) beloved __________.
As this candle burns, may its light remind (me/us) of the ways in which __________ illumined (my/our) world through (her/his/their) life.
[Add your own reflection on a memory or characteristic of your loved one that continues to be a blessing in your life. As you conclude, place a button next to the yahrzeit candle.]
When our grief was raw, we tore our lapels or ribbons, reflecting the hole that your death left in our lives. Today, we mark this anniversary of your passing with the memorial of a button. While the empty space of your absence remains, the button—the memories and legacy you left, those who have strengthened and sustained (me/us), and the passage of time—fills part of the gap, creating a point of connection and closure. As (I/we) recite Mourner’s Kaddish, we acknowledge that death is a part of the circle of life, and that we are all part of an eternal Oneness in which each of our lives finds completion.
[Recite Mourner’s Kaddish.]
זִכְרוֹנוֹ לִבְרָכָה
Zichrono liv’rachah
His memory is a blessing.
זִכְרוֹנָהּ לִבְרָכָה
Zichrona liv’rachah
Her memory is a blessing.
זִכְרוֹנֵה לִבְרָכָה
Zichroneh liv’rachah
Their memory is a blessing.
